"An Unexpected Moment"
(By Sara L. Henderson)
1-5-2005 Church Within SOW Seeds Service - Story #372
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Greetings my Dearest Sisters and Brothers, and welcome again to Church Within's Story of the Week ["SOW Seeds].
Today's Story hit pretty close to home for me. My mom started the onset of Alzheimer's in about '95 or '96. Though her short term memory is practically non-existent and her long-term memory is becoming almost equally dependable, my last visit with her (last January when I went to San Diego) at the Alzheimer's home where she stays now, showed me that the fabulous Soul who I knew as my mom is still there residing inside her physical body. She wasn't really sure who I was, though in the depth of her eyes I could see the loving recognition trying unsuccessfully to put the pieces together that would reveal my identity to her. At one point she looked me square in the eyes and asked me, Why did you have to leave so early? I was honored to recognize that she thought I was my Dad who died in 1972 when I was 17 (everyone always said I looked the most like him). I just looked at her and said, It was my time. And she nodded and smiled at me as if that explained everything for her. Less than a minute later she wasn't quite sure if I was her brother or her grandchild
only that she recognized me
My feelings were not in the least hurt by the experience that my mom's mind didn't quite recognize me personally, rather I was bolstered by the recognition that she is still experiencing life
still being a gift to others
just like she always was.
My mom never really told me that she had dedicated her life to God
to Goodness, Compassion and to Love, but by her actions, she always showed me that she had.
I've wondered from time to time why God would keep her here on earth with so little opportunity for personal growth, and yet with so Much that is so Beautiful and Good awaiting her in the next life, and then I read a story like today's and I realize
This week's SOW Seeds Story, contributed by: Patije
Story of the Week
An Unexpected Moment
(By Sara L. Henderson)
It was hard to watch her fail. Physically she was growing thinner and more stooped. Mentally she was losing her ability to sort out reality. Initially, my grandmother had railed angrily against the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease that were eroding who she had always been.
Eventually, the anger gave way to frustration and then resignation. My grandmother had always been a strong woman. She had a career before it was common for women to have careers. She was independent. In her eighties, she was still dragging out her stepladder every spring to wash all the windows in her house. She was also a woman with a deep faith in God.
As my grandmother lost her ability to live alone, my father moved her into his home. Grandchildren and great-grandchildren were often in the house. She seemed to enjoy being surrounded by the noise and activity of a large, extended family.
As she slipped further away from us mentally, my grandmother would occasionally have moments of lucidity when she knew where she was and recognized everyone around her. We never knew what prompted those moments, when they would occur or how long they would last.
Toward the end of her life she became convinced that her mother had knit everything she owned. "Mama knit my boots," she would tell strangers, holding up a foot clad in galoshes. "Mama knit my coat," she would say with a vacant smile as she zipped up her raincoat. Soon we were putting on her boots for her and helping her zip up her coat.
During my grandmother's last autumn with us, we decided to take a family outing. We packed up the cars and went to a local fair for a day of caramel apples, craft booths and carnival rides. Grandma loved flowers, so my dad bought her a rose. She carried it proudly through the fair, stopping often to breathe in its fragrance.
Grandma couldn't go on the carnival rides, of course, so she sat on a bench close by and waited while the rest of the family rode. Her moments of lucidity were now a thing of the past having eluded her for months, but she seemed content to sit and watch as life unfolded around her.
While the youngest members of the family ran, laughing to get in line at the next ride, my father took my grandmother to the nearest bench. A sullen-looking young woman already occupied the bench but said she wouldn't mind sharing the bench. "Mama knit my coat," my grandmother told the young woman as she sat down.
We didn't let my grandmother out of our sight, and when we came back to the bench to get her, the young woman was holding the rose. She looked as though she had been crying. "Thank you for sharing your grandmother with me," she said. Then she told us her story. She had decided that day was to be her last on Earth. In deep despair and feeling she had nothing to live for, she was planning to go home and commit suicide. While she sat on that bench with Grandma as the carnival noises swirled around them, she found herself pouring out her troubles.
"Your grandmother listened to me," the young woman informed us. "She told me about a time in her own life, during the Depression, when she had lost hope. She told me that God loved me and that He would watch over me and would help me make it through my problems. She gave me this rose. She told me that my life would unfold just like this rose and that I would be surprised by its beauty. She told me my life was a gift. She said she would be praying for me."
We stood, dumbfounded, as she hugged my grandmother and thanked her for saving her life. Grandma just smiled a vacant smile and patted her arm. As the young woman turned to leave, she waved good-bye to us. Grandma waved back and then turned to look at us, still standing in amazement.
"Mama knit my hat," she said.
I realize now that it's not any longer about the Gifts that my mom can receive from this life in the flesh, but rather about the Gifts that she is still able to Give to others because her life was Always dedicated to You. May I serve you as Heroically as She has!!!
You ALL are Within the Infinitely Loving Embrace of our Universal Parent,
The Creator's Eternal Love to all of You,
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